Nicholas (Lords of Satyr Series #1)

Nicholas - Elizabeth Amber First I have to say that this book had potential. Two c*cks on one guy... yeah, definite potential.Now, it's not that I'm squemish or anti-weird, well maybe a little, but what killed this one was BAD WRITING.The sex wasn't hot. It so wasn't hot, I didn't even want to read it!!! Everything else was boring to death, and it slowly killed my brain by the time I got to the end of the book.I mean, some of the expressions and the way they talked... Seriously??????? The sexy scenes were so clinical, it's like describing what happens in each scene, without getting any chemistry or sparks or just ANYTHING that would get my juices flowing (sorry for the gross expression but after reading tons of grossines here I just couldn't help it).There were a few hottish scenes, but they ended up on weird most of the time.Now about the story... it didn't make me love the book either because it was non existent! The hero was an IDIOT through most of the book! Moron to the ultimate level OMG I can't even describe it!!!!!!!And the heroine was pretty much stupid as hell. You'll see it all explained next to the quotes. OMG!!!BUT, I admit, I CRIED, literally, at some scenes with how much I was laughing :D I guess I'm lucky because I'm able to laugh at weird and icky and eww because this book was FULL OF IT!!!In the end, this book left me BRAIN DEAD!!!Beware!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lots of spoilers!!!!!!!!Lots of adult and icky and gross quotes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lots of gifs, I'm sorry but I couldn't help it!!!!!!!!!...........................................The last Change of Moonful had gifted him with this new shaft of bone and sinew—this second c*ck ripped from his own flesh. It extended high and hard from his pelvis, and twitched with hunger. Only slightly smaller than the enormous c*ck already rooted just below in his thatch, it craved relief as much as its twin."Like his brothers, he needed two female openings at once for his first mating of this night. His second c*ck required only a single ejaculation and would afterward retreat inside him until next month’s Moonful.*evil aunt+brother*He was thick now, hard from seeing their nakedness. She smiled into his eyes, riding him, slowly slicking him with her ooze.*evil aunt+brother*...She widened her legs under him and flung her arms to the sides in open invitation. “Come inside me, brother,” she crooned, “and feel the welcome of another man’s cream.” *evil aunt+brother*"Her stepbrother’s length swelled and grew more determined within her mouth as she competently sucked him off. Only when his cream finally spurted and dribbled down her throat did she rise and lead him to her bed."*His father explaining about sex*“You’re yet too young for such dalliances, but one day you will experience the overwhelming desire to dip your flesh into feminine honey. You’ll find many obliging women such as yon kitchen maid with whom gentlemen such as ourselves may slake our lust. But her type are so separate a being from those ladies we must marry as to be another species.”“As a rule, wives welcome their husbands in the marital bed, only as it is their duty to procreate,” his father explained. “A husband’s taking of his wife should be a brief exercise, and she will take no pleasure in it.”Upstairs now, he padded down the hall. His nostrils flared as he caught the humid scent of his wife’s blood mixed with her inner fluids and her natural, beguiling scent. His testicles bunched and drew up. Within his trousers, his strangled pr*ck thickened and rose, anticipating. *Nick cheating in brothel*“Your wife cannot please you as we can,” Anna taunted from the chaise longue.Idly he observed that her slack c*nt still pulsed with the most recent orgasm his tongue had provided, while Bella’s well-used slit leaked cream his penis had just deposited.*Nick being an idiot*"Having taken his father at his word, it had never occurred to Nick that a gently bred wife might find sexual congress a desirable experience if he took more time with her.""At twilight, he opened the door that adjoined his bedchamber to hers.Once inside, he stopped short. He caught her scent, yet she wasn’t there. Annoyance assailed him that she was out of her proper place when he was ready for her."“Of course it matters. It was painful to learn of your mistresses, and in such a public way.”He waved a diffident hand, dismissing her. “I assumed you knew.”She wasn’t sure if she could bear to do that special thing with him any longer, knowing he also did it with others.No, it was unwise. As things stood, he could visit a different bed each night of the week if he chose and display a different side of his need. But if he revealed the entirety of his carnal desires to the same woman, night after night, she would learn too much of him.“I see no profit in continuing this conversation,” he said, adopting a bored, supercilious tone. “I recommend you give up these strange notions and accept the natural way of things.” She raised her chin defiantly. “With me as your servant, and you as my master?” He frowned. “With me as your husband, and you as my dutiful wife. With me employing as many mistresses as pleases me, and with you accepting that my decision is for your own well-being.”*Nick pretending to be two other men while having sex*“Am I not fortunate, gentlemen?” Nick asked, fatuous pride evident in his voice. “This is mine to enjoy whenever I wish. Do you not envy me?”......................................................“Yes! Please cease this game. Come into me? I beg you.”“I regret that I cannot,” he commiserated. “Though I desire nothing more fervently than to accommodate your request, you must acknowledge how rude it would appear if I attempt to relieve myself with you while our guests go wanting.”.......................................................“But happily, I see Lemieux has a solution to offer. Put your request forward, Lemieux.”“Avec permission, Monsieur Satyr. May I poke my c*ck inside it?” the French voice asked.“Ciò è ingiusta! Why should Lemieux do so when I was here first?” Mosca rightly demanded.........................................................“Monsieur Lemieux,” Nick continued, his tone now colored with boisterous fellowship. “You may proceed next. Your c*ck is the largest, so I’m sure you’ll understand when I say you may only insert it to a shallow depth on the first thrust.”“Then may I pump her?” Lemieux inquired.“You may, but ten times only,” Nick stipulated.*still pretending*“Lord Strand,” he finally managed, finding a businesslike tone. “I believe it’s now your turn. And to express my gratitude that you have recently ordered a vast supply of our vintage, I will grant you a special favor. You may put your c*ck inside my mistress and pump her until you’re thoroughly satisfied.”“Jane, will you invite our favored guest into your body?”“Certainly,” she agreed with alacrity. “Signore Strand, I would be honored if you would put your shaft inside me.”Nick patted her ankle. “Your compliance pleases me, Jane.”Distantly she noted a new change in his body. The pelt at his groin had spread. A matted, downy fur now covered his haunches and calves. He was as furred as an animal.Idly she noted yet another difference against her belly. When she drew back, her eyes widened. His already generous cock had assumed new and slightly monstrous proportions. It had grown at least an inch in length, but its more impressive increase was in its girth.She cradled it in her palm and found it heavy, smooth. She looked at him in question.“Another feature of the Calling. I like to think of them as bonus inches,” he teased.Scant inches above his c*ck, a second shaft now protruded from the region of his pelvis. It was a duplicate of his other penis, though slightly smaller.Striated with purpled veins and crowned with plump reddened heads, both c*cks strained eagerly toward her.A tickle of fear penetrated her slumberous desire. But her need to have him come into her overrode it.“Do it,” she begged. “Whatever you must do to me, do it. I can’t wait a moment longer to have you.”Sometime later, Jane squirmed, her anus involuntarily clenching as his pelvic c*ck receded from her squishy-wet rectum. Now that it had gotten its way, the shrunken c*ck disappeared meekly back into his skin.His lips brushed her shoulder. “My second c*ck is quenched,” he told her. “It will trouble you no more this night.”“Something is—ahh!” An unidentified serpentine instrument had unfurled from below his scrotum to tickle its way inside her anus!She wiggled her buttocks in confused delight as more of the tonguelike protrusion made its way into her rear entrance.Catching the scent of their arousal, the tonguelike protrusion slid from her rear portal. It encircled the root of Nick’s c*ck like a curling vine, licking at her vaginal opening as though begging entranceNick pushed it away, his expression intent as he concentrated on the pleasure engendered by their mutual orgasm. “Not yet.”*that's rape, idiot*“Enough. I will have you with or without your cooperation,” he gritted. “I would prefer the former. Which is it to be?”*evil aunt and her deranged friends gang-bang Jane*Izabel shoved the cylinder between her niece’s legs and inside her, watching her expression closely.Though Jane’s passage was dry, the beast’s phallus brought forth moisture and engendered instantaneous delight. She arched, groaning. Embarrassed, she looked away from the salacious gazes of the other women.*two c*ck sex with the three brothers*The day had begun so well. How had it come to this—that she found herself alone in a sacred glade with three muscle-bound, lust-crazed, naked men? She shivered.Hands stroked her, she knew not whose. Nick and Lyon had returned even while her tissues still pulsed around their brother’s c*cks. Raine stayed firmly nestled within her as three voices joined together in some sort of chanted ritual unfamiliar to her. She could feel each drop of his jism meet and bond with those of his brothers. Three separate masculine potions mixed together within her to form a powerful blend that prolonged her inner convulsions until she found herself sucked into velvet blackness.That says it all. *buddy read with Glass, Makenzie, Shelly and V*